Do you have a place in this world, besides the place that you live, that feels like home? Maybe its your favourite rock by the ocean, maybe it’s somewhere off the trail or perhaps you're still searching? A place where your soul just craves to be? A place perhaps you didn't think you needed until you were there?
I do, and they call it 'Incredible India.'
I fell in love with India in 2016. Three weeks was no where near enough time to even start to scratch the surface. I had basically booked my next trip before I had even finished the first one. However, India captivated me long before my first trip there.
Years ago when I would spend my school holidays helping my mum out at the family Post Office, sticking stamps on hundreds and hundreds of envelopes, a staff member would hear me complaining and would often recite the final stanza of a poem by an American poet:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep"
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening - Robert Frost
So much so that I have not ever forgotten it! In between reciting the poem he would speak of his home town in Kerela with such fondness and I'm not entirely sure if it was the way he spoke about India or the things he said that held my attention each time I was there for the many years he worked there. When I was little it just seemed so far away, so foreign and unaccessible. Until I grew up and realised it was not really any of these things!
The first trip was a whirlwind. Three weeks in any country is just not enough time! So 2017 I returned. My flight was booked with the return date flexible. I packed the day I left, I was ruthless. My backpack was 9kg for a 3 month trip and honestly my old self wouldn't believe you as to what I had packed and what didn’t make the cut.
I took no make up, no hair straighter, no hair dryer. I mean I didn't even pack a hair brush instead took my trusty comb. My bag filled up with my hiking boots, my jacket, a few pairs of pants, a couple of tee's, a jumper, my journal and that was it. I thought I would miss one of my luxury items at some point but the truth is I honestly didn't. It is incredible how many 'things' we use on a daily basis that we are told we need so we confuse them for essentials.
The first 3 weeks were spent exploring spiritual sites, sunrises and sunsets in some of the most incredible places, temple hopping, Ganga Aarti's and countless Pujas. Incredible experiences that have to be felt to be understood, if its not on your bucket list, please consider it! Trust me on this one!
I often joke that you need to have at least one break down in India, often followed by a break through. For me it just happened to be three and a half thousand meters above sea level. I had done this trek the year before and knew that although it was short (8km round trip) it was steep and after hiking to and from Kedarnath (32km round trip) the past two days and still suffering slight altitude sickness from that my body was not ready for the trek to Tungnath. I just told myself I would try, if all else failed, I could get a pony back down. I will always be thankful to my walking buddy who stayed with me every step and another member of the group who appointed himself as our cheerleader, encouraging us and updating us on the progress as we refused to look too far ahead and just focused on each step at hand. Although this seems small, this was a huge thing for me. Our self appointed cheerleader said to me about 1km from the top 'Jess I bet you've had to do way harder things than this in your life, this is nothing in comparison!' And I'm not sure why this had such an effect on me but it did. Cue the break down. Each step to the top was an absolute struggle, my body and my mental state was done. Once we reached the top, I rang the bell and then absolutely broke down. Guys, I'm talking uncontrollable sobbing on the side of a mountain! I'm sure people thought I was nuts, I was a hot mess but a break down allows space for a break through!
My break through happened a little closer to sea level at a cafe in Rishikesh. I had just said goodbye to my travel buddy of 3 weeks and was alone for about a week until my course started. A book had caught my eye in a book shop I used to walk past every day. I finally bought it. Silence by Thich Nhat Hanh (side note: would recommend) I read the entire book in one afternoon over many cups of chai. (Stay with me this might sound super corny) As I put the book down I noticed that the sun was setting. Its hard not to ponder life in such a moment. I thought about many things but specifically when I used to suffer terrible anxiety. Something that I struggled with a lot during high school. Something I still deal with but do not struggle with. I never imagined I could be so far from home. I thought back to when I was a lot younger and my number one personality trait was shyness. I could not have a conversation and now most people struggle to get me to be quiet! I couldn’t help that think life had come a long way from where I was. Through years of practice of mediation and yoga I learnt tools that work for me, to allow my anxiety fall away as a personality trait and yes, I do sometimes still get anxious, I’m only human. But the change is that now, I sit with it, acknowledge it and then release it with yoga and meditation. Yoga and meditation isn’t for everyone and it doesn’t always work for everyone either but if you can find something that works for you, learn all you can about it. Implement it in every way possible and I promise you that it will be worth it.
Far too many people asked me "Why India? It's so dirty." "But you're a girl... in India..." "Will you be safe? What about if something happens?" These questions always baffled me and every question like this came from people who had not been there. It was interesting to see the way they judged a place by simply what they had heard. Yes be aware, yes be smart and vigilant but that is nothing that I wouldn't do if I was on a night out in Sydney.
So you see, its not just that I happened to pick India as a holiday destination and loved it, it was much more that it was years of wondering and imagining what adventures were waiting to be had there!
Most of my adventures cannot be put into words without diluting the experience. I've still not found a way to adequately describe the sunrise on the mountains in Badrinath, the roaring sound and the colour of the Alakananda and Bhagirathi rivers meeting to take the name of the Ganges, the site of Kedarnath temple covered in flowers or hearing baby elephants trumpet in the jungle in the middle of the night.
I had someone tell me the other day that they wish they could afford to start travelling more and start ticking off bucket list items. My friends, money will come and money will go. The more you seek, the more you will feel like you don't have enough. I am well aware that we need money to survive but there must come a time we're we can't afford NOT to travel more. To discover, to grow, to expand, to learn...
I will never tire of the sound of the Ganges roaring in Rishikesh, I will never tire of the feeling of reaching the top of the mountain after everything in me says I wouldn't make it. I will never tire of the chants echoing across the villages at dawn. India is ever changing, you can resist and be knocked down or dive in and swim out the other side. You could spend a lifetime exploring and still never experience everything!
"I pray you too will travel the world, not for selfies but for self knowledge."
Namaste,
Jess